My partner and I are trying for a baby through IVF. We both want this baby so badly, but we’ve been fighting a bit lately, is this normal? (Tina, Cronulla)
Yes, it’s absolutely it’s normal Tina. The process of IVF can be very stressful for couples; the anticipation, the cost, the counting time and sometimes the disappointment. Most couples who go through assisted reproduction say the same thing. It might be a good idea for you to sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about how you are both feeling, and then continue to have them, as ups and downs are normal. You could then move the discussion on to how stress relief is important for both of you at this time (some studies suggest reduced stress aids conception) and how you can support each other. Things like regularly getting some exercise, eating well and spending time with friends or doing things you enjoy together are all good stress-busters. Couples who are expecting and those with young babies also need regular stress relief, so use this time of preparing for your family productively to build these things in to your normal week. You will probably find that the conflict settles down as your stress levels reduce. I wish you both well.
Disclaimer: The information in this section is of a general nature and starting point only and not meant as sufficient advice for individual problems. For personal concerns about yourself, partner or child, please seek support from a professional counsellor or health practitioner. With respect, the author does not take responsibility for the effects of your use of this information.© E. Taylor 2011.
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Elly Taylor is a relationship counsellor, columnist for Practical Parenting magazine, runs Parent Support Online, is mum of three & the author of Becoming Us - her first book. Elly provides private pregnancy consultations to help couples prepare for life and love after baby and counsels clients for personal and relationship issues.
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